Who is confused?

I seem to be taking a turn for the topical lately so, yes, let's talk about Mona Eltahawy. While I applaud her for gaining such wide readership, I think she needs to heed Uncle Ben's words that, "With great power, comes great responsibility."

A few weeks ago, I read her article, "Let me, a Muslim Feminist Confuse You," and found it highly relatable. Though she breaks down the Muslim feminist experience into milestones, including a "headscarves and hymens" moment, I don't entirely fit into, I agree that Muslim feminism causes confusion in most people and I like that confusion can and should function positively when it comes to busting stereotypes. For a long time, I wore hijab mainly for the performative aspect. I felt it was my duty to give people the chance to interact with a hijabi with a personality contradictory to the submissive, reclusive, even handicapped woman they perhaps expected. I wasn't sure then if hijab itself is empowering in some way but we can at least safely say that it pushed me to stand for something. From Eltahawy's article, it seemed she stood for something similar.

In the same article, she explains that her experience in Saudi Arabia caused her to be "done with Muslim men." Her Foreign Policy article, "Why Do They Hate Us?" appears to continue that thread of her Muslim feminist experience. However, two paragraphs later in her earlier article she says (emphasis her own),

"When I returned to Egypt at 21, I learned Muslim men were not the enemy after all, as progressive, liberal Muslim women and men helped me define my own place in Islam."

If that is the case, what can Eltahaway's reason be for taking a leap backwards by reinforcing the stereotype that makes Arab men criminalized others? Because she both her decision to be "done with Muslim men" and later find some of them to be "not the enemy after all" were both out of experiences with Arab men but men from different countries, I have to recognize that she is not creating an evil Arab male monolith. I believe she is addressing a general cultural feeling that pre-dates Islam and expands beyond Arab culture. I have experienced it myself from all kinds of men. And from women, too. It's called misogyny, or the hatred of women.

It's extremely difficult to confront misogyny in someone like you care about. However, if you have a misogynist loved one, it becomes especially difficult to deal with the issue when they are also a member of a minority for which there exists demeaning stereotypes you don't want to further aggravate. Do you help yourself or do you help the minority community? At this point, Muslim feminists should read up on black feminist thought because there's a lot there that's relevant to this conversation. Whether Mona Eltahawy has done so or not remains unclear but her answer seems to be that you save yourself. In my personal opinion, I believe a woman (or man) has a right to chose who to save but that Eltahawy has a point in her inclusive tone if she means we should not alienate those who choose to save themselves.

Minority feminism aside, I have a few bones to pick with Eltahawy. First, the title, "Why Do They Hate Us," rings of post-9/11 "why do Arabs hate Americans." While I don't think believe that question has been properly addressed by anyone, I don't think this is the right place to bring it up. This is a stretch perhaps, but it seems to imply that the real hatred comes from conservative Muslim and Arab men and women and is directed toward progressive, liberal types such as Eltahawy. The implied Muslim/Western separationism also seems to imply liberals/progressives (or "westerners" in general. Or are all westerners liberal/progs?) are free of the yoke of sexism and that is direly untrue. It struck a thunderous chord with me when she says,

"...women are silenced by a deadly combination of men who hate them while also claiming to have God firmly on their side."

"claiming to have God firmly on their side"?! Well, a judgmental note like that doesn't seem to imply progressive liberals are on the side of all Muslim women. It seems to imply that being a religious Muslim woman who looks to God for help means you can't be feminist, save yourself, or even have feminists on your side.  So much for the confusion you promised, Eltahawy.

We'll talk about why Mona's target audiences needs to hear both from Muslims feminists (the types who oppose niqabs, though) and want to think of Muslim men as criminal others in another post.